I'll preface this by saying I'm not sure if my poetry holds up to my prose. I hardly ever write poetry. Thank you to the person (people) who made this possible. Love deserves thanks, I think.
In a crowded room, there is a face that glows
gilded by the night
a beacon that calls to only me.
Oh for that night
Oh for that night
Her every motion in rhythm
etched, like from a tapestry
of a childhood home.
In a single smile I know her thoughts
When I hug her
the tremor of a small bird
burning hot
held in strong hands
speaks of such beauty furled
Looking makes the world rush,
Looking away makes it close in
like a pack of wolves.
Please don't smile that sad smile.
it will burst my heart
Sunday, November 14, 2010
Sunday, November 7, 2010
Sleeping with People
A certain friend of mine once told me that she put out as a means towards sharing a bed. At the time I thought that was absurd. Sex is way better than spooning, right?
I'm still in withdrawal from the comforts of a relationship. Funnily enough, I've come to the same conclusion about sharing a bed. I miss that more than sex.
I understand that sharing a bed can often be an inconvenience rather than a luxury. A certain mother and daughter I know only shared a bed out of fiscal necessity. Apparently the daughter was a wiggleworm, especially when she was younger. I can't really speak to that. In contrast to even the previously-mentioned friend, I've never had a moment when the inconvenience of sharing a bed outweighed the pleasure.
The problem with being such a fan of sharing a bed (as possibly illustrated by the certain friend), is that classically it requires a relationship. There are other options, though.
It would be a little too awkward to share a bed with my platonic female friends. Like it or not, there will always be some sexual tension there. The good news about being oriented more-or-less completely one direction, sexually, is that I don't have to worry about sexual tension with guys. I still have to worry about morning wood and spooning is kind of out, but I'm comfortable enough with my sexuality that it can work at least theoretically.
My friend "C" visited me for a few days last month and I lured him into sleeping with me. Partly there were some circumstances that encouraged it, like not having a couch and being unwilling to give up my bed during the workweek. Ultimately though, it was an unselfconscious, premeditated attempt to fill that hole in my life.
Of all my friends, C is easily the most okay with that sort of thing. We've both actively looked for homosexual tendencies in ourselves and come up empty, so we both have that magical combination of a complete lack of homophobia and a rather complete heterosexuality.
Sharing a bed again felt fantastic. Even without any real physical contact, his presence in my bed felt incredibly comforting. Not in a "close my eyes and pretend it's her" kind of way either, but in the same real way that I remember first enjoying. I had some intensely heterosexual dreams, though. Ones that were a tad awkward to wake up to, if you catch my drift.
So I can theoretically have most of what I miss about sleeping with someone without the uncertainty of a relationship. In practice, of course, romance is usually easier for guys. I asked a close friend who lives nearby if he'd sleep with me (he just went through a breakup too) and he politely declined. Ah well, so it goes.
For you girls out there, however, sharing each-others' beds is societally acceptable. With your anatomy, it's even cool to spoon each other to sleep. I hope you're grateful and I hope you take advantage of that fact to the extent that you are able, because I am thoroughly envious.
The other option I've heard is getting a dog. I've always thought sleeping with dogs was more trouble than it was worth. Something about physical presence meaning more from sentient life. It's still a great halfway solution, but I won't be getting a dog quite yet.
I'm still in withdrawal from the comforts of a relationship. Funnily enough, I've come to the same conclusion about sharing a bed. I miss that more than sex.
I understand that sharing a bed can often be an inconvenience rather than a luxury. A certain mother and daughter I know only shared a bed out of fiscal necessity. Apparently the daughter was a wiggleworm, especially when she was younger. I can't really speak to that. In contrast to even the previously-mentioned friend, I've never had a moment when the inconvenience of sharing a bed outweighed the pleasure.
The problem with being such a fan of sharing a bed (as possibly illustrated by the certain friend), is that classically it requires a relationship. There are other options, though.
It would be a little too awkward to share a bed with my platonic female friends. Like it or not, there will always be some sexual tension there. The good news about being oriented more-or-less completely one direction, sexually, is that I don't have to worry about sexual tension with guys. I still have to worry about morning wood and spooning is kind of out, but I'm comfortable enough with my sexuality that it can work at least theoretically.
My friend "C" visited me for a few days last month and I lured him into sleeping with me. Partly there were some circumstances that encouraged it, like not having a couch and being unwilling to give up my bed during the workweek. Ultimately though, it was an unselfconscious, premeditated attempt to fill that hole in my life.
Of all my friends, C is easily the most okay with that sort of thing. We've both actively looked for homosexual tendencies in ourselves and come up empty, so we both have that magical combination of a complete lack of homophobia and a rather complete heterosexuality.
Sharing a bed again felt fantastic. Even without any real physical contact, his presence in my bed felt incredibly comforting. Not in a "close my eyes and pretend it's her" kind of way either, but in the same real way that I remember first enjoying. I had some intensely heterosexual dreams, though. Ones that were a tad awkward to wake up to, if you catch my drift.
So I can theoretically have most of what I miss about sleeping with someone without the uncertainty of a relationship. In practice, of course, romance is usually easier for guys. I asked a close friend who lives nearby if he'd sleep with me (he just went through a breakup too) and he politely declined. Ah well, so it goes.
For you girls out there, however, sharing each-others' beds is societally acceptable. With your anatomy, it's even cool to spoon each other to sleep. I hope you're grateful and I hope you take advantage of that fact to the extent that you are able, because I am thoroughly envious.
The other option I've heard is getting a dog. I've always thought sleeping with dogs was more trouble than it was worth. Something about physical presence meaning more from sentient life. It's still a great halfway solution, but I won't be getting a dog quite yet.
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