My First Lap Dance

About a month ago I drove with B, one of my good friends from college (visiting from DC), down the California coast on the scenic highway 101 to visit our two other former roommates. When we got there and asked what the plan was, they said they were thinking we could go to a strip club. For reference, I was the only one with a girlfriend and B is still a virgin.

It turned out that none of us had been to one. We went to a chain called the Spearmint Rhino. We showed our IDs and paid our twenty dollars. With entrance we got a ticket for a free lap dance. We made some embarassing noob mistakes (not tipping when sitting in the front row of the stage, under-tipping, being generally confused about the process). One of the girls sat next to me and asked if I wanted a lap dance. I nodded to B and said "ask him first". My friend declined and I felt badly for setting her up for rejection, so I assented to a lap dance. It was very erotic. She did it topless and her perfume rubbed off on my face, so that I smelled it for the rest of the night. It was like good foreplay. It lasted the right amount of time and then it was over.

My friends were more choosy and said no to multiple girls because they "didn't find them attractive". I pondered what it must be like to work there. Degrading, but maybe you get used to it and approach it professionally-- I certainly hated waiting tables for similar (less significant) reasons. I saw one of the girls on the floor encouragingly cat call a girl on stage, which totally charmed me. They were obviously mostly students at UCSB. I took a call from L (my girlfriend) and had a conversation in the bathroom, catching up with her on my day so far.

My friends eventually got their lap dances. H came back excited and talking about how much touching she let him get away with (the policy, as stated when we entered, was strictly hands-off). B came back totally ecstatic, looking like his mind was blown (it was a similar expression to the one I must have had after my first blowjob). After taking forever to finally pick a girl, G came back looking sheepish but nonetheless enthused. He'd paid extra for more time or something, and apparently it wasn't gratifying. When he got back we promptly left, since we'd been waiting on him.

I felt a little sorry for all of them-- so starved for sexual contact that they found the experience earth shaking. I mentioned to them later that I could get that at home because I had a girlfriend. I know, kind of a dick thing to say, but I have limited sympathy for their undersexedness. They are all extremely picky. H wants to learn to pick up girls in bars (the "real" way) and refuses to use online dating. His priority is self-betterment, which I suppose is admirable. I just wish I liked his concept of "betterment" more. G spends a lot of time and energy fucking with girls' heads. B has been dating, but he has had an impulse to wait for his first time to be with the girl of his dreams. This seems to have changed recently and I think B is beginning to realize that his inexperience is causing him trouble getting laid and that getting past that first roadblock is essential. So I guess B deserves sympathy. I remember when I had to face that same catch-22. It's a frustrating place to be.